The Life of a Wife

I am just about done with the trilogy. What am I to do?! No more Mr. & Mrs. Grey! :( Yes, the writing is a little redundent but the writer sure does know how to keep you reading. This is one of the best series I have ever read!

nineplanets:

Except it isn’t YOLO so go do some stupid, quasi-illegal shit just because you can. YOLO because today is here RIGHT NOW and you could die in the next second, so embrace the people with you, love them with purpose and ferocity, love everything with purpose and ferocity.

Wash out this tired notion that the best is yet to come. 

I found this blog today and I absolutely love it. I makes you think of the small things in life that really do make you smile. Here are some of mine. Some are from the blog, some aren’t.

-writing or reading poetry
-reading classics
-finally losing weight
-having naturally curly hair
-shopping at victoria’s secret
-Watching Disney Movies
-Starbucks
-Love
-being thankful for those who never left your side
-taking good pictures
-marilyn monroe
-photography
-tattoos
-adorable children
-family
-enjoying life
-Not having to wear make-up to feel beautiful
-Dippin Dots
-buying new make-up
-traveling
-vacation
-favorite scents
- f.r.i.e.n.d.s. :)
-hiking
-camping
-nature

1. If you are voluntarily spending an inordinate amount of your free time doing something, consider that something. Think about yourself at end of your life, looking back on all you have done. Will you want to remember yourself doing this something, or is there something else more worthwhile you could be doing? If there is, do that something else instead.

2. Don’t automatically assume you are right all the time. Let others correct you when you are wrong, and be gracious about it; welcome an opportunity to learn. Truth is more important than ego.

3. You do not “need” a boyfriend or girlfriend. You are a complete human being on your own: another person should complement you, not complete you. You may WANT a girlfriend or boyfriend, but that is different.

3A. On a similar note, try being single voluntarily. If you are in a happy relationship, by all means, stay in it, but if you are single, learn to enjoy it. Most people spend the majority of their life in relationships or marriages; time to yourself is a limited resource. Enjoy it. Get to know who you are when you aren’t trying to impress someone. And ironically, it’s often when one is spending time by oneself that they meet someone. * (how I met my husband. yes, I was engaged to someone else at the time but they were not physically present. I learned a lot about myself during those months.)

4. Sarcasm and snark are not substitutes for wit. Think of snark like salt: it can add flavor, but should be used sparingly. For every Dorothy Parker there are a million YouTube commenters.

4A. Being offensive is also not a substitute for being funny. Yes, George Carlin said things that were offensive, but they were couched with brilliant observations and social commentary. You are probably not George Carlin.

5. Saying “I don’t like Rap/Country/Science Fiction/Nonfiction, etc.” is a cop-out. My response is always “I don’t like people who dismiss entire genres due to their own stubborn preconceived notions of that genre.”

6. As a teacher of mine once said, “being famous is a bad goal.” I agree, for several reasons: first, very few people who want to be famous will ever reach the heights they have dreamed of. Andy Warhol was right when he said that “in the future [i.e., now] everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes.” It’s very easy to be temporarily famous these days, but that is not what most people hope for when they hope for fame. I doubt there is a point where you will be able to recognize that you are famous enough: more likely, you will never feel you are famous or successful enough. Or you will, but it will be fleeting.

In addition to that, fame alone does not bring happiness. In fact, it may be antithetical to happiness. Sure, you’re known by everyone, but more people knowing you also means more people detesting you. You will be under constant scrutiny. You’ll have no privacy. You’ll have no freedom. Enjoy doing what you want and having fun with your friends without being judged? Then you don’t want to be famous.

7. Don’t say anything about someone on the Internet that you wouldn’t say to that person’s face. What the fantastic Austin Kleon says here is true: “be nice, the world is a small town.” It can and WILL get back to them. The Internet shouldn’t be just a bigger high school bathroom wall.

7A. Don’t put any pictures of yourself on the Internet you would not want a future employer or family member to see. Don’t send them via phone, either. Even if that person keeps them private, phones get stolen, hacked, or picked up and rifled through by careless friends.

8. Yes, it’s important to be honest, but some things do not need to be said. If you feel a compulsion to confess or tell something, ask yourself why. Is it solely to clear your own conscience or to make yourself feel better? In that case, tact should win out. Unless someone is in serious danger, keep it to yourself.

9. This one is more practical and less philosophical: if you are getting an apartment in a city, be sure to go through it first to make sure there are no holes bugs or mice could potentially crawl through. If there are, patch them up right away. You do not want the constant maintenance and exterminator consultation fees, let alone the ethical dilemma of what to do with the living intruders in your home.

10. If someone knows more than you about something, regardless of what it is, listen and show some respect. As my father, who works behind the scenes in television, says, “the best actors are the ones who are nice to the tech crew.” (He has a great story about a news anchor who was so rude to the technicians that one of them changed the lighting so she looked sickly. He was fired, but a few years later she was on a different channel and the same thing happened again. It turns out that he was working at that station, too. Techies never forget.)

11. I don’t care if you’re turning twenty-one, you need to impress your sorority/fraternity siblings who bought them for you, you listen to nothing but Ke$ha and Katy Perry and thus embrace a life philosophy of glorified self-destruction, shots of alcohol are never a good idea.

12. I have been thinking of many ways to put this, but I think @TheTweetOfGod said it here more clearly and succinctly than I can: “The first person who says you’re a jerk is just threatened by your talent. But the hundredth person who says it is probably on to something.” Thanks, Tweet of God!

13. Enjoy being alive. Please. Yes, sometimes life is miserable, but misery passes, and the mere fact that you able to experience misery and happiness and anything in-between at all is astounding. Seriously: you exist, and you are able to comprehend that you exist! How many creatures can do that?! I honestly believe that life is the best thing going. Well, technically speaking, it’s the ONLY thing going, but still, appreciate it. Take some time every day to remember that YOU ARE ALIVE.

So lately I’ve been reading the blog of Mara Wilson. If you don’t know her, she was the little girl on Matilda, Mrs. Doubtfire, and Miracle on 34th Street. All of which are some of my favorite movies! Sadly, she isn’t acting anymore, but greatly, she has good reasons why!

1. The next time you feel like flying into a fit of rage over one of life’s tiny injustices, try saying to yourself, “You’re not really angry about this.” Chances are, you aren’t.

2. There is something interesting in everything as long as you are willing to look for it. And often, it’s someone else that can show this to you. Allow yourself to be wowed.

3. Unless you are in a job interview, no one wants to hear about how smart you are.

4. Someone else’s job is worse than yours. This is especially true for those of us fortunate enough to live in wealthy countries. Remind yourself that at least you have time to see your friends and family or that at least you are not in any physical danger. (If you are, call the union.)

5. Caring for children means not letting them get away with all you got away with.

6. Writer’s Block does not exist. Ideas come from everywhere. There’s a saying (attributed to Isaac Asimov) that most scientific achievements start not with a “Eureka!” but with a “That’s odd…” This applies to writing, too. Think of what you notice that others don’t, and go from there. What is stopping you is not lack of inspiration, but lack of trust in your abilities.

7. When someone says “I’m not good for you” or “I’ll only break your heart” or “I’m afraid I’ll hurt you,” they are telling the truth. You cannot and will not change them or save them. Run.

8. If you have to describe yourself as a “Nice Guy,” you’re not. If you have to describe yourself as “quirky,” you’re not. And very few truly mature people describe themselves as “mature.”

9. If you like someone, be honest about your intentions. While relationships CAN grow out of friendships, it’s not right to try to make friends with them solely to take advantage at a later point: that’s both sleazy and manipulative. You don’t have to say it outright, but make it clear you like them. If they don’t feel the same way, it will hurt, but you will live. I promise.

9A. Additionally, if you’re going to tell someone you really like them, don’t do it while drinking or using any substances.

10. Liking the same music and movies does not mean you are romantically compatible with someone, or even that you would be good friends.

11. If someone on the internet is being rude to or about to you, remember this: very few intelligent, successful, attractive, confident, happy people spend their time bashing people they have never met. Just be glad you are not that person.

12. A cynical attitude is like a callus: a layer of roughness formed in response to pressure, covering what was once raw and vulnerable. Recognize it for the defense mechanism that it is.

13. You would (and likely will) be surprised what you can get used to.

14. Being an adult means taking the step from “I wish someone would do this” to “Huh, nobody else is going to do this, so I guess I have to.”

More to come.

So my husband and I went to Savannah last weekend and it was beautiful! I would love to move there if my family would let me :) It was a great trip. Very peaceful. We did lots and lots of walking as well! We didn’t see any ghosts or anything but we did get orbs in pictures!

So I’ve started to plant flowers and I am soon starting to plant my rose garden! I am so excited! I can’t wait to spruce up our home. It looks so sad :( Our house is a pretty light green color. It shouldn’t look so sad. Ha! I am not much of a gardener but I am slowly learning. I think I’ll stick to flowers before I try food!

There are people in this world that will love you one minute and hate you the next. There is nothing that bothers me more than rude people.. or should I say obnoxious and rude people? I happen to be surrounded by a couple every day and it drives me crazy. Lies. Sketch. Whispers. (I hate the sound of whispering. Its a huge pet peeve) Do you find it necessary to talk obnoxiously loud on your phone right next to me? Do you purposely go out of your way to NOT say hello or good morning? Which brings me to the cupcake list. Am I not good enough for this list? That’s okay. I don’t want your cupcakes anyhow. I think it just comes down more so to being rude and not having good manners. But then there are days where you all of a sudden have manners likes its magic or something. Where did they come from? Why do you only use them on certain days?

That’s okay. I have my husband. I have my gracious family. I have my adorable dogs. I have amazing friends that would love to offer me a cupcake :)